Today after work I am going to boot camp. I am terrified. See, I am a manipulator. I have worked with several personal trainers in the past. But I always can control them. When they say do 15...I talk them into only doing 12. I am really good at it. Even though in our first meeting, I tell them I am a manipulator and that I need them to be hard on me and not let me get away with it. I always do.
That is why I had a doula at Evelyn's birth. I knew I wanted to have a normal un-medicated waterbirth. Dan and my midwives knew what I wanted. But I knew that I would still be able to manipulate them to give me the drugs. Even though deep down, I didn't want them. My doula was able to keep encouraging and supporting me. And I did it. No Drugs!
I digress.
So, boot camp, today at 5pm. I have a feeling Tim and the others (class limit 6) will not let me manipulate them. That is why I am scared. But it is a good scared. I need to be pushed. I need the extra 10 lbs OFF of my body. I am now 14 mo postpartum and can no longer use it.
Will post tomorrow if I don't die tonight.
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1 comment:
Yeah boot camp! Do it!
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